It has taken many years for me to find my way within Yoga, and still, I am finding deeper aspects of the practice and myself that are coming together. A deeper understanding of where Yoga is taking me. It is not a linear path as most of us want to believe, there are many meandering turns along the way to find that essence of your own depth. In our modern world, x should equal y. If we practice, engage the anatomy “correctly” (more on that in another post), and execute a pose “correctly”, we should have mastered something within ourselves. This way of looking at Yoga is a linear x=y. Yoga is not linear in any respect. Everyone has a different body, so executing a pose “correctly” is not linear in any respect. And in all of this, there is this great emphasis and need to attach to Asana or “perfecting” the Asana. 

I have been studying Yoga for many years, the study of philosophy and principles and how they connect to the body, or how the body connects to them. In all this time, and I am sure for as long as I study, there is always something new that I need to explore, something that I understand on a deeper level. Practice is very important, but practice diluted to physical exercise, it is just that - physical exercise. And Yoga is much more than that, much more than that time on the mat. Yoga is finding yourself, your true nature, your essence of Being. If we minimise that by mastering poses or only focusing on that time on that mat, we are doing Yoga and ourselves a disservice. The beauty of Yoga is that if we take the deeper levels of it and ourselves and apply them to our practice, but also practice them every day, our practice will change and so will we. 

Instead of keeping focus on the body, we can focus on the connection of the body to our daily lives. Instead of keeping focus on the goal and the constant need to improve, we can focus on the here and now and where we are. Instead of keeping focus on the suppression of discomfort and uncomfortable emotions, we can acknowledge them and let them go. This transfers into our daily lives, enhancing our days and interactions. We need to take Yoga with us when we get off our mat and recognise its importance in our daily lives. Our modern lives take us into constantly doing, achieving, moving forward. Yoga brings us back to Being, acceptance, allowing. It sounds like a cliché, but in the end, simplicity truly is key to a peaceful life. 

My views on Yoga may not align with others', and that is ok. It is ok to find something different in Yoga that works for you. But I believe we do need to try and give Yoga the respect it deserves, and try and explore the deeper aspects of it, instead of minimising it as a physical practice. As a teacher, I have been pushed countless times into exploring where Yoga should go within my classes, constantly faced with students wanting only the physical, focused only on the physical. My intuition and style of teaching do not align with this, but at the same time, we are taught and told that Yoga will benefit everyone, no matter what they take from it. Yes, this I believe to be true, however, there needs to be a choice and a greater understanding that a Yoga class or teacher is not one size fits all for everyone. 

It is always hard for me when someone tries a class and doesn’t come back, or students leave after a period of time. Through the realisation that if I am true to my understanding of Yoga and how I feel I need to teach it, the students that have stayed with me are all wanting to experience Yoga. Not to DO Yoga, but rather to experience the richness and beauty it has to offer. Most that don’t come back or stay for a while and leave, are those that come with a preconception of what Yoga should be, where it must take them, what it can give them. Faced with Being, they shy away from the classes, finding it difficult to reconcile their preconception of Yoga with the principles, philosophy and connection incorporated in classes. The physical is there in my classes, and of course we work the body as it is part of the connection to Being. The classes are physically challenging, but the teachings I try to impart connect that physical aspect to movement of breath or stillness of breath, to energy connection within yourself, to a greater understanding of the Yamas, to ALLOWING a sense of Being. 

I used to think I could do something more, be something more (modern day thinking), to make my classes what everyone wants. Then Yoga took me on a journey, bringing me more and more students focused on the physical. Within that journey, I was not being true to myself and my understanding of Yoga and my way of teaching. I was trying to please everyone. I ended up going through a period of not wanting to teach, because I was not teaching what I wanted to. I was trying to teach what expectations were prevalent. I was still giving my everything to planning classes, my studies and my students, but I was taking away from myself and from Yoga. The prospect of not wanting to teach was so devastating that I had to shift something. I started looking at who I was becoming and looked to Yoga to find out who I am. 

And then I went back to the Yamas like a checklist. I realised I was not practising Ahimsa, because I was harming myself with negative emotions because I was not being true to myself. I realised I was not practising Satya, because the truth was that I was giving up a piece of me to make others happy, and I was not teaching from my truth. I realised I was not practising Asteya, because I was stealing my time to try and give something that was not part of my core values. I realised I was not practising Aparigraha, because I was attaching to every student that came to me, staying in my classes forever. 

Just that simple return to allowing the Yamas to guide me led me to understand, if someone comes to my class and finds that this is not what they expect from Yoga, I will let them go, and I once again stand firm in my understanding of Yoga and my internalisation of it. In my classes we will be aware and practice with the Chakras, Prana, Pranayama, Mudras. We will focus on our Sankalpa and on the breath moving us. We will be aware of the aura and the connection to the elements within us and around us. You will hear me talk about my latest understanding of Yogic philosophy. We will try to feel the connection to the Earth and the Cosmos. We will embrace the Yamas and Niyamas and the eight limbs of Yoga. We will experience what we can within our western understanding of this ancient, beautiful system that we will strive to carry through to our everyday life. 

And with a sigh of relief, I thank Yoga yet again for helping me find myself within it, always providing the path, and for allowing me to walk that path. Maybe if we practised more gratitude for what Yoga has to offer, instead of trying to squeeze it into something we THINK we need, maybe we would allow it, and this would take us on the beautiful journey Yoga helps us experience.